Wide Awake

So I was asked “How do you KNOW??!”

well I don’t know how YOU know

but one thing’s for sure…

I KNOW that I KNOW.

My yearning to “come home” started whispering to me when our oldest son was born
(he is now 6!!)

But on the eve of my 12th “100th day of school” the whisper became a SHOUT!

The running joke with those who know me

 KNOW that I am a SOUND sleeper

I’ve always said, “My children are the Lord’s at night.”

Once I travel to Sleepytown… that’s it.

 that being said..let’s go back to the eve of the 100th day…

I am sleeping soundly and then

 no tossing or turning I am simply

WIDE AWAKE.

My mind begins to whirl. and whirl and whirl.

After an hour of whirling I decide to get up.

I took my prayer journal and Bible and went to the living room.

I began to jot down questions.

In mere moments my page was full.

I ended my prayer with  “Lord I don’t know the answer to any of these questions but YOU know the answer to these and answers to the ones I haven’t ask yet.  I rest in you.”

Now.. we teach our children
sometimes the Lord says “Yes” 
Sometimes the Lord says “No”
and sometimes the Lord says “Wait”

Within 2 days half my page of questions had been answered.
How?  through devotions, phone calls and the mail.

Seriously. 

By midweek my husband and I seriously began entertaining the idea of my leaving my career.

So I called 2 insurance agents and the tax office that afternoon.

Need I say more.?

I went home feeling deflated.

I was sitting in my kitchen all alone with the “mully-grub” mindset…and
I said to myself “I wonder what the Lord would say to me in this moment?”

Now we have a little plastic “Our Daily Bread ” bread box full of scripture cards that sits on our kitchen counter…..

I drew a card out of our little plastic bread box…

 And do you know what the Lord said to me through His word from that little card in that moment???”

“OBEY MY VOICE AND I WILL BE YOUR GOD…” Jer. 7:23

Wow. 

Now stay with me.

That night I was again WIDE AWAKE in the middle of the night. and remember…

I am a SOUND SLEEPER

My chest is pounding and I hear over and over in my head the scripture that I had read  earlier that day… “OBEY MY VOICE AND I WILL BE YOUR GOD..”

This time I didn’t wait an hour to get up and visit with the Lord.

I went back to the living room and opened my Bible to see again what the Lord had to say.

I opened to the book of Acts~ Chapter 4.
The subtitle at the top of the page read “Obey God, not man”

He had my attention.

I began to read at verse 13 “Now when they saw the boldness of Peter and John and perceived that they were uneducated and untrained men, they marveled. And they realized that they had been with Jesus”

The words boldness, marveled and JESUS jumped off the page at me! 

So I began to pray  “God fill me with the boldness you shared with Peter and John so that the world may marvel and say she has been with JESUS…TO GOD BE THE GLORY…”

I read on and  before I knew it two hours had passed.  I don’t say that to boast.  I share it because in that time with the Lord ~time stood still for me and at the end of our visit I was at peace.  More at peace than I had been in months.  I knew what I had to do. 

I am to come home. 

To be a mother to the children that I begged the Lord for. 

Minister to our children that we will stand before my Savior one day and give an account for..

To be available to serve the Lord who gave His LIFE for me.

This I KNOW.