how many of you suffer from it?

I wish I didn’t.
but
o me.
I do.

I don’t really know when it started…
and actually
I don’t ever remember not having it.

Please note that
I do not hold my present dentist responsible
for my ridiculous anxiety
related to dental hygiene

it’s not his fault.

If I am any better than I was
which I would love to say that I am
but that would be a lie
because I am not.

but…

 if I were
it would be
because of him
and his very gentle
soft ~toned staff

they are great!

really.
they are.
very professional
and they try so very hard to be gentle
because
I believe they really do want it to be a pleasant experience
and I wish it were
but it’s not.
not for me anyway

and this is why:

travel back a month or so
on the day they shared “the bridge” news with me 
they also shared
that I needed a root canal 
(of which I had done out of town last month 
and had to have sister banker drive me 
because I was such a wreck!!)
and three of my wisdom teeth need to be pulled 
(not yet scheduled)
so see??!!
let me insert here
every
single time
I have
ever
been to the dentist
seriously.
every 
time
I have left with a “to-do” list for my mouth
and did I mention that
things like root canals and bridges
make me a wreck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
so…..

 yesterday
in spite of my anxiety
I put on my big girls drawers
and was at the dentist by 8am
for
a bridge!!

(let’s all take a deep breath…..ok……exhale……………..)

now
the reason
I decided to follow through with the bridge is
because
I don’t want to be a
saggy jawed woman

and apparently
 that was what was going to happen
should I have opted out
of this suggested procedure

now
“saggy jawed”
is not the way
the above, kind professionals
chose to explain what was happening in my mouth

those words were my choice

but in a nutshell
that is what was happening.

now to recap the procedure:
I went
with my “little pink nose”-
(which was hooked up to the “don’t care gas” ASAP upon arrival)
and my iPod in hand
(because the sound of their little tools is just simply more than I can stand)

did my very best to remain calm
trying to believe
and be persuaded by the soft tones
and soothing music playing throughout the office
that all would go well

I managed not to spew
on the sweet assistant
who had to take an impression
 of my upper teeth
and hold that yucky, gummy stuff in my mouth for what seemed like an eternity!

I did not pass out
though I held my breath for most of the appointment

I did not PANIC
when they told me how much the bridge cost me
AFTER insurance

and last but not least
was able to drive my self home
in spite of the fact that I found
that I have to return in a mere 14 days for the permanent bridge
(because somehow I missed that part and thought the nightmare was over)

so who knows?
 maybe…
just maybe

my dental phobia
is a
little better.??

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