tonight
the sisters and I (NO MEN ALLOWED)
had a hen party
our topic of discussion:
PARENTHOOD
and the challenges
of each new phase
which brings to mind
a statement I read from a friend today :
“no one can ever prepare you for parenthood…”
I agree.
on any given day
these two
little
ROWDY
rascals
make Cowboy Dan and I
laugh so hard our bellies hurt..
and so mad we want to SCREAM out loud..
and so PROUD we feel as though we may BURST
and even though
parenthood
is hard
and some days
exhausting
I just can’t
fuss too long
before I find myself
thinking back
to the
many
many
nights I pleaded these words
Then [Hannah] made a vow and said, “O LORD of hosts, if You will indeed look on the affliction of Your maidservant and remember me, and not forget Your maidservant, but will give Your maidservant a male child, then I will give him to the Lord all the days of his life…”
1 Samuel 1:11
many, many nights
those exact word…
longing to be a mother
I shared in a post earlier this year
my first Mother’s Day
after we lost our little Samuel
at seventeen weeks.
I was SO sad.
Very,very sad.
We went to church with my mother
A pastor friend
spoke briefly of mothers
I remember thinking to myself
“not sure I’m ready for this..”
and in that moment (lost in my pitiful thoughts)
I was taken by surprise
as this friend of ours
now standing in front of me
handed me a rose
and said
“Happy Mother’s Day.”
immediately.
the ugly cry
On the way home that day
I prayed
“Lord, don’t let me forget”
and then
the next year
expecting again
full of mixed emotions
THRILLED
yet cautious
we made it 24 weeks
before our daughter, Karson
was born
perfect
just too small…
so tonight
I remember..
and choose to say
THANK YOU
THANK YOU
THANK YOU Father
for my ROWDY rascals
I am honored
YOU
chose ME
to be their
MOTHER
and for my dear friends
who ache tonight
whether
longing for a child of your own
are fighting to keep those you have
or are pleading for your prodigal
KNOW that I am praying for you
and
BELIEVE
Ecc 3:1 For everything there is an appointed time, and an appropriate time for every activity on earth:3:2 A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to uproot what was planted; 3:3 A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; 3:4 A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance. 3:5 A time to throw away stones, and a time to gather stones; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; 3:6 A time to search, and a time to give something up as lost; a time to keep, and a time to throw away; 3:7 A time to rip, and a time to sew; a time to keep silent, and a time to speak. 3:8 A time to love, and a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for peace.
hi karmen! thank you so much for your thoughtful and kind words on my blog…and for sharing this post with me. it is beautiful. i’m so sorry for your losses and am touched at your words.
your family is beautiful and i can see that you cherish every single moment.
best wishes. <3
happily following.
xo
maria