It's my birthday and I'll cry if I want to!

 

We live in the Heart of Dixie when in June it’s so hot:

 

• farmers have to give their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying hard-boiled eggs
• cows give evaporated milk
• Satan takes the day off
• the four seasons become: tolerable, hot, really hot & ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!

 

This week’s heat has been topping out at the ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!

 

 

You are not on candid camera.

 

This is an actual shot of our thermostat, in our house two nights ago and NO, our AC isn’t broken.

 

The cowboy and I mutually agree and actually prefer fans and fresh air over closed doors and AC most-of-the-time (which is odd because we are polar opposites and rarely agree on trivial things) but at 8:41 PM- I was done.

 

Like, well done. Charred.

 

So when he came in just a few minutes later from mowing hay, I said, “it’s time.”

 

He graciously agreed and began closing windows while I did snow angels on the bed.

 

I woke up the next morning REFRESHED and cool and so happy because it was my birthday.

 

I heart birthdays.  I think we should all celebrate with gladness the day we took our first gasp.  Cakes, cards, and homemade ice cream make it even more glorious.  Birthdays are exciting.  Or they should be.

 

Today was exceptionally normal.

 

J left early to go shoe a couple of horses before opening the store.

 

The boys and I ran to town to the bank, get their hair cut (so they would look like someone cares about them #bless) watered plants at the store, swept, tidied up, and then home to grab a quick bite before going to the hayfield.

 

Here’s how my mind often works.

 

I recognize the reality of certain situations and yet sometimes I choose to totally pretend as if they aren’t what they are but instead what I hope they will be.

 

CASE & POINT:

 

I KNEW there were acres of hay on the ground.  I KNEW it was ready to be baled.  I KNEW J had the tractors greased and ready annnnd I also KNEW he was planning on me to rake while he baled-on my birthday.

 

BUUUT-it’s my birthday… and in my fairy-world-mind, I secretly wished we could have PAUSED our real-world responsibilities for the afternoon to go have some BIRTHDAY fuN!

 

I had no particular definition or idea of what that birthday fun might look like other that I was fairly certain it wasn’t going to be located in the nine thousand degrees-hotter-than-hades-hayfield.

 

So while I prepared lunch, J packed the cooler full of POWERADE.

 

I felt the swell.

 

The puffing in my heart.

 

The inner, “I DON’T WANT TO GO!”

 

The lump in my throat…

 

When the tears began to spill over quietly I left the kitchen, went to our bedroom, closed the door and began to weep.

 

As I sat there scolding myself for being so completely ridiculous I saw-

 

 

“Learn to laugh at yourself more freely.  Don’t take yourself or your circumstances so seriously.”

 

The words glared at me from the devotional that lay open to my right while I sat having myself a grand time at my pity party.

 

Like a toddler tugging at the hem of my skirt, the words began to tug at my soul.

 

 

As if Jesus slipped in the back door to sit in on this little conversation I was having with myself.  I read more…

 

“A merry heart does good, like medicine,

But a broken spirit dries the bones.”  Proverbs 17:22 NKJV

 

 

ok. the party’s over.  The Pity ParTy has been canceled.

 

With that, I wiped the leftover tears put on my big girl pants just before I hollered,

 

“It’s time to go boys.  Get in the truck.”

 

Isn’t it silly how we let our emotions tell us what to do?

 

AS IF being puffed up or mad the rest of the day was going to make baling hay on-this-hot-hot day any better for anybody?

 

Sometimes we have to do things we don’t want to do, even on our birthday.

 

Sometimes the things we want to do has to wait for another day because of the things we need to do.

And lots of days, we need to take our emotions by the collar and tell them to GET IN LINE!

 

Because that’s real life.

And even when it’s hot on your birthday and there aren’t ten seconds of shade, there’s hay to bale.

 

 

A funny thing happened once we got there …

 

 

The beauty of the place was almost overwhelming

 

 

The humming of the tractor hushed the day’s disappointment as I circled the field

 

 

The cheesy, romantic in me began to blush as I waved at the man I adore as we passed each other on our tractors,

 

 

Our gracious friends who were available to help cart kids around on the ATV while we worked

 

Coolers full of refreshing POWERADE

 

A brother-in-law who had been going since 3:50 am-worked a full day in a hot factory was in one field while we worked another

 

When what to my wondering eyes should appear but to glance up to see my sisters who had come to tell us sweet momma had supper ready whenever we could get there!

 

Just in time for the serenade-HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME, showered with love and homemade ice cream to boot !!

 

After the fit I pitched earlier- I am so undeserving yet ever-so-grateful for those God has given me.

 

And just when I thought the day was done

 

My little regifter gave me this

 

And here’s what I did:

 

I asked him and his brother to forgive me for being such a jerk.  I squeezed them so tight just before we said goodnight.

 

And for God to forgive me for being such a crybaby.  I trust that He will.  Because He’s faithful like that.

 

Looking forward to a peaceful, COOL night of rest, new mercies and strength for tomorrow, as we head back to the hayfield. amen (insert emoji icon WACKY FACE!)

 

the end and sweet dreams,

the snow angel

 

PLEASE share with me a time when you were a crybaby jerk…or am I the only one?!

PS-Funnies at the beginning were borrowed from jokes4us dot com