TWO-RIFIC! Let’s Get the Party Started!

by Karmen |

**THANK YOU to the hundreds of you who participated. Our #PrayBig GIVEAWAY has ended. See more details below about how you can follow and join the #PrayBig movement!

(Winners: Journal-Natasha Berry, Bracelet-Kisha Moore, T-shirt-Payton Hawkins, Metal bar necklace-Tanya Frost, Hat-Alicia Wilbanks)

Guess who’s 2?

When You Pray Big Things Happen is TWO years old!!!

We’re going to chat Thursday night about the #PrayBig movement, what it is, the countless ways the Lord has used YOU to BLOW ME AWAY and how you can be a part!!!

JOIN US –>LIVE Thursday night via Facebook at 8:30 because you don’t want to miss this and tis’ the season for giving so we’re hosting a GIVEAWAY!! (or two or three-YAY!)

There are lots of ways to enter, and we’ll be giving away ALL kinds of #PrayBig goodies for you or your favorite person on your Christmas list!!

Much Love,

Enter below, and scroll to see a list of all the prizes!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

He left and I couldn’t stop crying

by Karmen |

Maybe a sip of water will help.

The lump rising in my throat caused my voice to crack, “Yeah. Sure, we can meet at the store later this afternoon.”

Another unexpected-all-to-sudden departure.

Foster care. I love it and hate it with all of my heart. Truly.

Last night from the porch while the frogs at the pond sang us a song I rocked that sweet baby to sleep and heaven felt so near. It’s those little moments of peace and hope that keep me from quitting.

When he left this afternoon, I couldn’t quit crying. Maybe it was because he’s a baby or maybe it was because he wouldn’t quit smiling or maybe it was the third goodbye in less than 12 hours. Who knows why? I texted the placement supervisor and case worker for two of the three kids we’ve had this week, “Three goodbyes in two days is too hard. We’re going to need a few days for our hearts to heal.”

It hurts. Bad.

We bring them in, set up their area, give them a tour of our home and farm and welcome them to their “right-now-home-sweet-home.” Some stay a few days, others a couple of weeks or few months at best. During training, it is clearly stated and often said the ultimate goal is to reunite the children with their parents or people as soon as possible and I get it, but it doesn’t make it hurt any less.

If one more person asks me, “Don’t you get attached?” I may snap.

OF COURSE, WE GET ATTACHED!

IS this thing on? Can you hear me now?

YES!!! WE-GET-ATTACHED!

Then why keep on? Why continue fostering if you know you’re going to end up hurting?

Because once you know, they’re out there and are in need of care you can’t NOT know.

It’s sobering really how much I thought I knew about fostering having taught public school but as it turns out, I know very little. Nine months and 19 children later I have observed and made notes of these things:

Every case, every face, every story so unique and very similar.
Hugs are a universal language.
Stuff: excessive toys, a plethora of shoes, clothing and or tech gadgets are not necessities. They are luxuries.
A warm shower, clean bed, and kindness go a long way.
Always say goodbye and leave on good terms. Life can be up on its head in a moment.
I thought through fostering we would and could change the world one child at a time. What I have experienced through fostering is that children are often the best teachers, and I have much to learn.

J and I, with head and hearts still reeling from the week, were talking before bed when he precisely expressed how I felt.

“It’s like a little death when each one leaves. Like a little part of us is gone.”

Yes.

Death.

It is nothing new nor is it a respecter of persons. Many of you have walked through the valley, and the shadows before as have we.

Even my Savior was not exempt.

Good Friday is the day Jesus died for you and me. Good Friday is the day I delivered our oldest son after years of barrenness and loss. It is a day I have grown to respect, cherish and hold dear only this year was different. Deeper. Heavier. Much heavier. It held both weight and wings. Waking to celebrate Tucker’s 11 years of life and ending with a heartbreaking goodbye to a little one we loved like our own.

It would be easy to quit. It would feel better to close our doors and say no more. We could play it safe, love them less and silence the ringer on our phones. We could stop believing that it matters and doubt that God is working all things together for good. We could.

“When belief in God becomes difficult, the tendency is to turn away from Him but in heaven’s name to what?” ~G.K. Chesterton

…but in heaven’s name to what? That’s my favorite part.

..”to what?

The word what brings to mind a few more questions:

What IF it does matter?

What if we are making a difference?

What if this was the best week of that child’s life?

What more can we do to let them know they are loved?

What could we do to help them hurt less?

So what if caring is a risky business?

What if death is the beginning of a new life?

Yes.

I say a BIG FAT Y-E-S to all of the above.

What will you say? And before you say you can’t please consider what you can do as you read through some of the things others near and dear to us have done. We could not do it without help. Again to your question, “How do you do it all?”

Quite simply, I DON’T.

We don’t.

There are LOTS and LOTS of people in our family and community who have helped.

Consider these from just this past week:

One sister came and held the baby and chatted with the new kids on the block while I did paperwork and talked with case workers.
Mother cooked us supper the night the three extra children arrived while I got their belonging settled.
A brother-in-law mowed our yard because it needed it. One of our boys broke the key off in the ignition of our lawnmower. #benearmeLordJesus
Dad let us borrow his suburban because our car is not safe for a family of seven.
Another sister bought some snacks and personal items for the girls.
A local church rallied together and made basic care packs for foster children. They then blessed us by sharing items the children needed.
A friend gave me a shoulder to cry on when the last one left us just five days later.

See? Foster care is not a solo mission. I didn’t write this post for sympathy or a pat on the back. It isn’t about me. I am using what God has given me, this space for His honor and glory. I share these stories as a reminder-It takes us all. I hope you’ll say yes and get involved some way somehow because life is better when it’s lived together.

Oh, and when DHR calls again, and they will, we will say yes. We will say hello and goodbye, we will laugh and cry, and finally, I will wipe the warm tears and know that I’m alive.

Happy Resurrection Day!

P.S. Because it’s fitting and my favorite poem on the planet…. I read Risk for the first time while in college. I copied it, laminated it, cut it out and hung it by my desk and read it every single day that I taught public school. I have it in the front of my calendar now. I hope it pierces you in the way it does me each and every time.

Risk

To laugh is to risk appearing a fool
To weep is to risk appearing sentimental
To reach out for another is to risk involvement
To expose your feelings is to risk
exposing your true self
To place your ideal, your dreams before a crowd
is to risk their loss
To love is to risk not being loved in return

To live is to risk dying
To hope is to risk despair
To try is to risk failure

Yet risks must be taken
Because the greatest hazard in life is risking
NOTHINGThe person who risks nothing
Does nothing
Has nothing
Is nothing

One thing to try if you’re dreading the holidays

by Karmen |

The best way to finish something is to start.

We could start with how many times I’ve started this post in my head, or we could start with the come-apart I had in the car on the day 14 days ago. Thankfully no children were present, and only the passerby in the parking lot saw me ~~screaming~~ talking to myself.

If you’ve seen Summer School when the character, Chainsaw, overwhelmed with stress grabs his head, while taking a test & SCREAMS at the top of his lungs, “AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! “Tention breaker. Had to be done.”

Anyone in need of a tension breaker?

Yesterday my oldest son declared, “Tomorrow it will only 27 days until Christmas.” Which is precious and absolutely delightful because it is the most-wonderful-time-of-the-year except that it’s ONLY 27 DAYS UNTIL CHRISTMAS!!!! #forcryingoutloud

October was like two seconds, and now we are two days shy of wrapping November raging full throttle into the holiday season.

Ferris Bueller was right. “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.

Which brings me back to my last post- if you missed the video where I hid on my porch and trapped the cat in the bathroom (who has since been hit by a car and gone on to kitty-cat heaven), you could watch it HERE. The video. Not the cat.

In that post, I shared how we dove head first into foster care and discussed a bit about why I was stepping back from speaking events to tend better to the littles God had placed or allowed to visit our home.

A lot has changed since that post. For the sake of privacy & without going into great detail, I can tell you we savored our months as a family of five but now are back to being a family of four. It’s been eleven days since the little one that left us forever changed had to go. We’ve been cherishing sweet memories, and are re-establishing a new normal.

Just yesterday at church I had someone say, “You’ve walked this road before.” Speaking of years ago & our seasons of grief after we lost our son and then a daughter to preterm labor.

“Yes and no,” was my tearful reply.

Yes, we have experienced loss and sorrow before but none like this.

It’s different.

We, meaning our whole extended family, store family, church family loved hard and fell fast for the little one God sent our way that we were sure would be with us forever until he wasn’t.

Many have said, “Well, this is part of it.” Meaning loving and losing is part of fostering.

To that, yes, it’s very much like standing in the road and then being surprised when you are hit by a car but can anyone ever be ready to be hit by a car?

A recent & frequently asked question,

“Now what?”

WE GIVE THANKS.

Thanksgiving was bittersweet. We dressed as we do on Thanksgiving Day as Pilgrims, Indians and cowboy outlaws.

We hooked the buggy and rode to the feast.

We said the blessing,

ate lots of food, played whiffle ball with family and friends, laughed a lot & then, we cried for the ones who were missing.

“In everything gives thanks” doesn’t happen by accident. When life knocks the breath out of you and our hearts break we have to CHOOSE thanksgiving sometimes even on Thanksgiving.

WE TRUST.

We are trusting God to make it all matter. My nephew told his mother the evening after he heard our news, “Some days are happy. Some days are sad. This day is a sad day.”

Romans 8:28 is one of our go-to verses. We believe God works all things for good for those who love Him, those whom He has called according to His purposes. That doesn’t mean all things are good because there are many, many things in this life that are not good but God in His wonder, and amazing grace can use those things too. He can and will use it for our good and His glory.

Sharing Secrets +BIG DREAMS+Great Fears

by Karmen |

Is this thing on?

Tap. Tap.

Can you hear me now?

I wasn’t sure if my computer would work it’s been so long since I opened it.

You’ve heard you can’t be two places at once?

It’s true.

To be present offline is to be absent online.

The last month I’ve done my best to be more present in my life offline.

My baby turned EIGHT and still. I can’t even deal.

The farm is busy and H-O-T. Our goat, Sweet Pea, had twins, and all of the HAY is AT-LONG-LAST out of the fields. This year has been the year of repairs. Each trip to the hayfield beckoned a repair to either a tractor, piece of hay equipment or trailer. The cowboy in holy desperation with hands in the air declared more than once, “I’m listening, Lord!!”

tractor

Our garden despite the on-again-off-again rain or lack of is providing plenty for which we are grateful.

garden

Three out of the four weeks in June someone from our family was at Ponderosa Bible Camp.

pbc

I’ve mentioned our boys want to live there, and I’ve decided it might not be a bad idea. It’s quiet, beautiful and tucked away from the busyness of the world. The week I was there speaking our precious friends, Chris & Gina, graciously helped shoot a “What is #PrayBig?” video to be released soon. (Nose shot vs. A selfie stick? Maybe a selfie stick isn’t such a bad idea! )

Speaking of #PrayBig. How about #PrayBig went to CANADA this week?!? A dear friend on mission took 45 journals with her that many of YOU helped purchase! (MUCHAS GRACIAS!!) While there, she met a lady who lives in Georgia who does prison ministry. Because technology is not all bad, I was able to speak to the group via FaceTime a few nights ago, and now a long and short story: #PrayBig is going to be going to the Georgia State Prison!!!! Only God.

In other news, Summer is made for reading, right?

A few books you’re sure to devour:

#1- If you haven’t already, GO NOW! Sure to be a sell-out: A Different Beautiful by Courtney Westlake is set to release August 1. Go PRE-ORDER here–>www.courtneywestlake.com

#2 Fresh Out of Amazing by Stacey Thacker had me at the title. Stacey has allowed me the privilege to be on her launch team. It is set to release September 1. I’ve just started and already sense this will be one to read and reread and reread particularly for those of us who struggle with being all the things to all of the people.

– #3 I’m late to the party on this one but cannot believe how many of the words in this book God has written on my heart! The Circle Maker: Praying Circles Around Your Biggest Dreams & Greatest Fears by Mark Batterson is THE-BEST- and one of the most challenging books I may have EVER READ!!! Seriously, highlighting every word or every other on most pages. It is that good and has had me on my face.

BIG DREAMS & GREAT FEARS, just so happen to be a couple of my favorite themes because we all have them. Dreams and fears are common denominators God uses to keep us humble and dependent on Him.

What are your BIG DREAMS & GREAT FEARS?

Because accountability is good and this place is that for me, I’m going to be real and share a couple of secrets we’ve been sitting on. I’m going to share because we covet your prayers. And not the, “Praying for you” and forget kind of prayers but the real praying without ceasing kind of prayers. The persistent widow prayers. Bold prayers. The #PrayBig kind.

Fear is entangled in our secret places. It’s in those secret places the enemy whispers lies to us. He tricks us into thinking it’s about us or what others will think of us or say about us when actually, it isn’t about us at all.

It’s all about God.

Honoring Him in thought, word and deed. Glorifying Him.

In Him, we live and breathe and dream and hope.

It’s because of His love for us we can live free from the bondage of despair and death and can share His love with others. It’s because of Him and His love overflowing that we have surrendered to the call to become foster parents.

The tango of “okay God, and no-nevermind, or no, not right now” has been going on for over a decade. We first requested the paperwork to become foster parents thirteen years ago after the loss of our first child. We have sought that same paperwork four times during these many years only to ignore it until now.

Why now?

A year ago this month I visited the Good Shepherd Children’s Home in Honduras. Many tried to warn me and did their best to prepare my heart for the wrecking and by wrecking I mean the undoing. The shaking up! The love overflowing for the orphans I would encounter. Nothing could have prepared me for the goodness of God I experience in that sweet, heaven on earth where the fruits of the Spirit were so thick and evident.

A week later upon returning home, J and I were making our bed one morning when I had the come apart.

“It’s NOT OPTIONAL! We aren’t called to love the widows and orphans when it’s convenient or when we have enough money or when we have enough time! We are commanded to care for them. We can’t put it off any longer. Jesus is coming!”

He looked at me with fear in his eyes not because I was scary although at that moment I was very scary but because he knew it too. It was time.

So, in October, we started the long, wearisome process but because of life, small business ownership, and speaking engagements it is now mid-July and we are just finishing.

Now this, the day before yesterday. The words we’ve been praying to hear and yet knew we would be scared to hear.

“We are looking for placement for a child.”

So here we are, waiting, praying our guts our for the children God has handpicked to join our family. Maybe for a little while and maybe for a long time? Here is where we stand:

There’s not a day ahead God hasn’t seen.

We will trust in Him.

What area of your life is God calling you to trust Him?

Finally, for the BIG DREAM!!

Last year with great hesitation, full of anxiety and inadequacies, I attended the Dave Ramsey/Christy Wright Business Boutique. It was inspiring, life changing and perfect timing because it was exactly one month before the release of #PrayBig.

This year I am making plans to attend again but this time, I have submitted the #PrayBig journal and products to be considered for the vendor hall at the conference.

PrayBig mug