it’s Christmas and this one is worth rereading…..
Now Y’all KNOW I L-O-V-E, love my momma.
All the way to the moon and back -to infinity and beyond.
“Her children arise and call her blessed.”
And we do!
But yesterday she tried to bully me into playing used, dirty Santa. (Doesn’t that game sound fun? Yea, I’ll get back to that in a minute)
side note——> TO BREAK TRADITION WITH MY MOMMA RANKS RIGHT UP THERE WITH BLASPHEMY.
Traditions in the South run deep.
To date, some of the hardest things I have had to do as an adult have had to do with reestablishing traditions that suit my husband and my momma. Seriously.
So yesterday when momma called to finalize the details of the where, when and what of the Christmas Eve-Eve gathering for the extended (50+) family members I politely mentioned that I would not be participating in the used dirty Santa game this year.
“Well, why not?” was her curt reply.
“I’m just not mother. I’m cutting back and doing less to remain more JOYFUL and stress less. It’s fine mother. It’s used dirty Santa.” Said me.
definition: “Used dirty Santa”—->a game
THE RULES: gather a used item from your house-dust it, or not. Wrap it.
Address it to MAN, WOMAN, BOY, or GIRL. Put it in the pile upon arrival. Draw a number.
When the game begins, you choose a gift from the pile OR take a used gift from any man, woman, boy or girl who has already opened
And finally, at the end whoever has #1 gets to have the final pick of whatever they so choose. The End.
Yes it’s fun and funny, and we had lots of laughs during the game and if you haven’t tried it, and you want to cut back on spending and still give, you should try it.
As for me, this year..I’m not playing.
And that’s ok.
Back to my conversation with my momma.
“Well, that sounds very bah-humbugish to me. Where’s your Christmas spirit?” she asked.
“I assure you, mother, I have as much Christmas spirit as you do. I’m doing my very best to keep my Christmas spirit by cutting out a few things this year and this round of used dirty Santa just so happens to be one I have chosen to cut out. I love you and will laugh at you all play. I will gladly serve hot cider or hot chocolate to all who are playing. I will be the garbage girl and pick up the gift wrappings, BUT I’m not playing. And it’s okay.” was my firm, respectfully toned, reply.
“Well, ok then. Bye.” was her surprised, disappointed response just before she hung up.
I wasn’t mad. I know my momma. And I knew she wasn’t mad. She just needed a minute to process the news.
Mother is the matriarch our rather large family.
And nobody bucks the queen. ( I asked her permission to use that statement. She wasn’t thrilled with it but appeased me by not denying my request.)
It may have been fifteen minutes but closer to 10 when I heard a knock at my door.
The queen had come to talk.
I was on the phone with my sister, the banker when she entered.
“I’ve got to go. Mom’s here to scold me. I told her I’m not playing dirty Santa this year. Talk to you later.”
“I’m not here to scold you. I’m here to apologize.” was her reply.
We hugged as I said, “I’m glad you’re not mad.”
And just like that, we were friends again.
Why chose to air such dirty laundry ??
Because I’ll bet some of you need to hear:
IT’S OKAY not to play ALL the GAMES
IT’S OKAY to GO WITHOUT A GIFT
IT’S OKAY to decline respectfully an invitation or two with the reply “Thank you for the invitation, but we’re slowing down and cutting back this year. Merry Christmas”
IT’S OKAY to step out of old traditions and start new ones
IT’S OKAY to say no at Christmas
We say it’s not about the gifts or the decorations and the parties and yet
we make it about the gifts,
the decorations and the parties.
IT’s not about us Y’all……it’s all about HIM.
Christmas is when THE SAVIOR of the WORLD was BORN!
It’s HIS DAY.
I encourage you to call a TIMEOUT …regroup.. reevaluate why you do, what you do,
look at how you celebrate HIS DAY.
I had to. The first two weeks of this month. His month.
I was WITHOUT JOY.
I was joy-LESS instead of JOYFUL because I was tired.
Too busy doing too much for too many.
Weary. Irritable. And then, I repented.
I asked Him to forgive me for making this season about me.
“Help us Father to shine as we share YOU with others. Restore to us the joy
of our salvation!”
He is faithful.
May the Savior of the world, THE PRINCE of PEACE grip hold of your heart fresh and anew.
As we fix our eyes upon Jesus,
May you and yours experience the real meaning of the season and experience the MERRIEST CHRISTmas ever!!
Much love and Merry Christmas,
Megan Nilsen says
SUCH a good word for me today!! Sometimes I feel like the victim in these situations and sometimes (God forbid!) — I can be the queen bully. But either way, I am reminded to step back, take a breath, have good, hard conversations and truly connect with myself and the way the Lord is directing me and my family this season. LOVE.
Tammy Lacey says
One of my favorites!!!!
Terri Babb says
Thank you Karmen, I really needed this. We have a “AWESOME GOD” and he always finds a way to speak to us. Love the Journal !