I can hardly believe it

no, really.

she’s NINE today! NINE. YEARS. OLD

“baby Kate” isn’t a baby anymore

many of us have children we are close to

it’s a given to say that I cherish my boys

“they are precious in His sight..” and mine

but Kate

well Kate’s EXTRA special to me & uncle JJ

here’s why..

I’m a planner

strong type A personality

my plan: college degree, get hired to teach, marry, tenure in my position, have a house full of children and live happily ever after

and then

there’s what actually happened:

I married Cowboy Dan a year into college, was hired two weeks prior to graduating, tenured upon completion of my third year, struggled with infertility for four LONG years and then

FINALLY

we were expecting

hopeful of the happily ever after..

add to our excitement the news of sister banker finding out she was UNEXPECTEDLY expecting!

we were less than 8 weeks apart!

I was EXSTACTIC! she was numb with SHOCK.

she and her hubs had not anticipated how quickly their GOOD NEWS would come..first month off the pill!

I still refer to her often as FERTILE MYRTLE!

all was well with the world

and then

I woke early one morning a day shy of 17 weeks not feeling so well

I called my doctor

shared my symptoms

the nurse encouraged me to come in, just to be sure

Love was working from home

I called him up from the barn and we were on our way

my doctor’s office was an hour away

half way there

while lying in the back seat

I broke the silence with “this isn’t going to end well”

the doctors did their best to reassure me

my heart telling me a conflicting story

the next several hours

a whirlwind

it didn’t end well.

preterm labor

our precious, perfect baby boy

“Samuel”

born too early.

by His grace

I was at peace

sister, was not

my thoughts and prayers immediately shifted to her and the well being of her little miracle still growing inside

the weeks and months following

were tough

tough on all of of us

our family is close

and though…”weeping may go on through the night, joy comes in the morning..” Psalm 30:5

the call came midday

“it’s time. They’re admitting me.” she said

“I’m on my way!”

and just a few hours later

we met

we met her and held her for the very first time

“Elizabeth Kate”

was the name she was given

named after me and sister nurse

“Baby Kate” was perfect

and pink and precious

and perfect

our JOY

all of our joy

each moment spent with her

like a soothing serum

out of her first 365 days

Uncle JJ and I saw her 363

and haven’t missed many since

a servant’s heart

thoughtful and merciful like her mother

sassy and spicy like her Aunt

I’m crazy about her

love her like my own

now, forever and always