and yet I did.
For years I begged the Lord for kids. I cried and pleaded and prayed as earnestly as I knew how. In His time He heard and answered my prayers. He sent us two AMAZING, healthy, hilarious cotton tops and yet -I forget..
A couple years later Jason and I were convicted about a Christian education for our boys. We began to pray for the Lord to work out the details. We prayed specifically for Him to do what only He could do. We reminded the Lord it was Him who put the desire for a Christian education in our hearts as we prayed believing He would make a way. He did. He sent the tuition from a friend and used a load of firewood to show me that He is still a miracle working God. He reminded me that He cares about the great and the small and yet- I forget…
January will be two years ago The Lord woke me in the middle of the night confirming my conviction to leave my job and come home to be a mother and teacher to our boys. Jason and I had no plan. No agenda- no “what next” and yet the Lord had a plan the whole time. He knew we would buy the feed store before we did. He had it all worked out. He knew we would live on less than we ever have and yet He knew it would be enough….and yet- I forget…
I said I wouldn’t forget.
Each time. Each triumph. Each victory. Each answered prayer I pledge my allegiance to my Savior declaring “I will not waver”. “I will not doubt” “I will not fear”
and yet..I forget.
and when I forget
my joy leaves and fear enters and brings anxiety with him
and then before I know it
I am not at peace. I can not rest.
I am depleted. and weary and sad and more times than not -I cry.
In my quiet time His word whispers to my soul or He sends me a prayer from a friend or a word through our pastor and then..
I ask Him to forgive me for forgetting and then I remember.
I remember that HE IS GOOD. I remember that HE IS ABLE.
HE IS FAITHFUL. HE NEVER leaves me …NEVER forsakes me.
My needs and His riches are a perfect fit. HE is SOVEREIGN. HE IS THE BLESSED CONTROLLER of ALL THINGS.
He’s got this. He’s got me.
because I remember -Him.
and just like that-I’m okay and ready for a new day….
PS –My prayer for you my friend is for you to remember all that He has done for you too :O)
He is using you to get through my thick skull. I love it!
kathleen esperdy says
Isn’t God good… lately he has held me as I wept for forgiveness and I have felt his unconditional love for me. I am always amazed at his patience, the depth of his understanding of what I cannot put into words. As we become distracted He waits for us on the mountain… I praise his name, He is the Alpha and Omega, the Author and Finisher of my life. Every day I am blessed.
brought me to tears….because you know I AM SO FORGETFUL!!
Such blessings He has given just recently….prayers being answered right and left with the kiddos!!!