“Please don’t ever think you are above such temptation.”
Were the wise words offered to me over a decade ago
from a dear, precious mentor
as I shared my heart wrenching disappointment…
someone I loved dearly had been unfaithful to their spouse.
deceit are ugly.
the ripple effects of such betrayal
shortly after this particular conversation with my wise friend
I decided it was imperative to discuss with Love
should this particular snare ever present itself to either of us
let’s be real.
seduction is everywhere
in YOUR FACE
as subtle as a snake
I will never forget his face as
our conversation began:
“We need a plan.”
Love: “about what?”
“What are you going to do if an aggressive woman approaches you?”
(for those of you who don’t know me very well.. I’m a take the bull-by-the-horns kinda gal)
his crinkled, confused brow expressed his confusion as to where this conversation was going
“Well?? I need to know. I know there are aggressive women out there. I am one and I need to know what you are going to do if one day while you are shoeing horses you are approached. It happens babe. Everyday. It happens. And I don’t want it to happen to us”
Love: “Are we really talking about this?”
“Yes dear, we are. We need to be proactive. So??”
We ping-ponged back and forth in the same manner for a bit before concurring on a few things that were
just. upright. noble.
- Always be truthful. Not selective. Whole truth and nothing but the truth. Always. About everything.
- Stay above reproach Be cognizant. Not allowing ourselves to be put in a questionable situation. Including not counseling one of the opposite sex with personal matters without the other present.
- Set healthy boundaries Be careful not to get too cozy with your friends and their spouses. Keep private matters, private.
- Open door policy Passwords. Cell phones. Appointments. His business is my business and visa versa.
and last but not least
- Take care of “us” Communicate on an intimate level daily. Not just on a cliche’ level.. “Hi, how are you?” ..Take time to listen. Care. Date often. Respect each other.
It’s been thirteen years since we had that initial conversation
We revisit the topic occasionally
Particularly as we hear of other covenants that have succumbed to the lie of seduction
Our marriage isn’t perfect
some days are FAB!
but, we are committed.
to each other and to our God to whom we made our covenant
“Until death do us part.”
have you and your spouse had “the talk?” Do you have a plan??
Andrea Merrigan says
I just wanted to stop by and say hello from Amanda’s blog. I also shared a lie about infertility today for her post. I am so sorry for your pregnancy losses! I will keep you in my prayers.
Thanks for stopping by and for your prayers! It’s nice to meet you :O) Thankfully we are on the other side of darkest days. We have been blessed with two cotton top, rowdy little boys. To God be the glory!
Karmen, this year will be 45 years for my sweetie and me. We ,like you, have had ups and downs, but our life together has been the greatest blessing God could have given me. He isn’t only my lover and best friend, he is the other half that makes me a whole. I remember praying, before we married, that if God would give me this man to love , I would raise our children up to know that Jesus is their savior, and that I would trust Him in our lives. I have made mistakes (many) along the way but God never left me, I just had to find my way back to Him. I am so glad for the family that you have and my greatest wish for you is, after the rascals are moved on to their own familys, that you and cowboy Dan can sit together and have the sweet silent peace that we have together. Sometimes just sitting silently together is the greatest feeliing in the world!
Thanks Brennie for reading and taking time to comment :O) WOW! 45 YEARS! is quite an accomplishment, especially in the days we are living..TO GOD BE THE GLORY for your commitment to each other..love you!