4 no-holds-barred BOYMOM truths

by Karmen |

#1 It’s intense.

The heave of emotion could be compared to that of a free-fall ride at the fair.

#2 It’s dangerous

Someone should have warned me or maybe they did about the hazards of being a #boymom.

#3 It’s AWESOME & it’s NOT

Like the old Jerry Reed song,

When you’re hot, you’re hot

And when you’re not, you’re not

It’s like that except in parenting boys

When it’s good, it’s good

And when it’s not, it’s not.

Like one time on Mother’s Day when a little boy lost self-control because his brother wouldn’t open a pasture gate. In fact, the little boy got so enraged that he hammered the gas on the four-wheeler in such an abrupt fashion that it launched the destructive machine dead center of the little boy’s mother’s beautiful hot pink, crepe myrtle that was ALMOST ready to bloom. A tree she loved dearly because of the way it towered the entrance to her vegetable garden. A scenario that upset the little boy’s mother so terribly on MOTHER’S DAY that she had to get in her car and drive to her sister’s house and cry lest the mom-bomb explode and she say non-G-rated things that would be sure to scare the little boy.

Or that time a little boy’s mother had a friend over to her house for the very first time. A friend so sweet and completely startled to hear such a commotion coming from the mother’s backyard pond. When what to the friend & mother’s eyes should appear…but a tiny-white-hiny-perched on the edge of the kayak and a little boy who had apparently heard and responded to the call of nature ..relieving himself-right-there-in-the pond of not #1 but # 2!

EW!

Other noteworthy mentions to the up and coming #boymom

Boys are crude and rude and everything in between. They love bodily fluid and noises and if you want them to practice good manners it is an hourly battle some days. Be ready. Fight on boymom, fight on!

Boys don’t bathe even when they do. Translated: wash clothes are only shower props. Boys will not USE them unless you make them and sometimes- like most of the time if you really want them clean and presentable it’s best to scrub them yourself.

Boys are fearless and lots of days- like almost every day they do dumb things. Case and point: like move the trampoline at night to the edge of the porch so they can leap from the porch railing as if it were a tall, tall building in order to gain the desired momentum to catapult themselves on and then OFF of the trampoline in a flying-like fashion.

Boys love slime and creatures that produce slime.

Boys catch and trap things and beg you for just-one-more-pet.

When boys are around other boys the testosterone levels go straight to the brain thus blocking all rhyme & reason -if there is any to begin with..

If you aren’t scared yet, you should be because there are more, so much more stinky-smelling things like bullfrog tadpoles in their bedrooms beside their beds in old pickle jars and cut-up fish on your back porch considered by the boys as turtle food in waiting and smelly, oily, plastic fishing worms under and on occasion in their beds.

But then…..

There’s# boymom love.

#4 It’s deep

A love so immeasurably deep and so very, very wide…

A love from the mother for her sons that even the wordiest of mother’s is left speechless.

A reciprocated, fierce love from the boys to their mom shown in the simplest ways:

A hand-picked bouquet of weeds from the yard..

A hand-drawn picture of the mom as the queen, with a courtyard of boys, and dogs..

A bag regifted gifts that he gathered from the house on Mother’s Day that includes an old Bible because his momma loves God and a packet of printed birds because he knows, “how much you love bright colors”…

It’s the bear hugs at night as she tucks her rascals in bed ..

the sweet whispers of “I love you all the way to Heaven” that pierce the heart of the boymom erasing the musings of each day…

that keep her humble and reminded that being a boymom is nothing short of sheer awesomeness <3

with a heart so full,

thank you for reading friends

I hope your Mother’s day was fantabulous

PS-Please feel free to add your own boymom story or tidbit for the new and upcoming moms out there in the comment section below 🙂

Momma, I saw the pigs hatch…

by Karmen |

It’s Spring.

Trees are budding, flowers are blooming, and the grass is growing all around.

In other news, if you live on a farm, things are hatching, foaling, calving and kidding.

All the babies on the farm are precious, particularly newborn piglets. They are so teeny-tiny up next to their great-BIG-momma. They make me want to do this

but then the loud, intimidating blow-snort from the gigantic-crush-your-bones-like -a-Scooby snack- momma snaps me right back to reality as I view them from afar.

Spring also ushers in a certain level of farm friskiness. The animals sense it and are all up in each other’s business. The simplicity of nature and the life lessons that present themselves are endless on the farm.

Case and point.

One evening recently after our nightly family devotion and prayer,just as the hub and I were leaning in for the bedtime hug and kiss for our oldest the sweet sentiment was brought to an abrupt halt.

Calm, cool and collected with his hands behind his head,

“Hey Momma, I saw the pigs hatch today.”

Insert the emojicon with the big eyes

as I glared across our son’s bed at my baby daddy.

My big eyes cuing the hub to jump in and respond to our son’s declaration.

Giving him the, YOU’RE ON DAD look..

Crickets.

Not a sound from either of them.

Just awkward-somebody-needs-to-say-something-silence.

“Is that right? You saw the pigs hatch? Huh.”

Still glaring across at my dear, sweet, precious husband who had apparently lost his ability to speak.

“How much of ‘the hatching’ did you see son?”

“All of it Momma. I saw all of it.”

“Is that right? All of it. Huh.”

Still- not so much as a word from the man standing directly across from me-the father of the child speaking to me.

“Tell me son, what exactly did you see when you say you saw the pigs hatch?”

“Well, Momma, I saw where they come out.”

“Huh.”

Still not a-single-word from the man in the room.

“So Momma, is that where babies come from? Is that what happened to me?”

Annd there it was. Just like that. The question I saw coming like a freight train down the track.

And now… the moment of truth ….the moment that someone was going to need to answer and since the man who had fathered the precious child in the room had gone mute and was apparently unable to SPEAK ….what else is a mom to do but to answer the inquisitive child that for-the-LOVE can we please just say, sweet dreams, goodnight, I love you ?!

“Umm, yes son. Yes it is. That is what happened to you BUT here’s the thing. That’s our family-farm-secret and that kind of news might scare people who don’t live on a farm so let’s just keep this lil talk between us for now, okay?”

“Ok.”

Whew.

Good talk.

Good stuff.

Right there at bedtime. Just me, our boy and the muted-not-so-much-as-a-breath, baby daddy.

Good talk.

And so it begins …the next phase of parenthood.

This should be a blast.

PS-I’d love to hear your awkward-so-this-conversation-is happening now story…..Share in comments

One BRAVE thing a day

by Karmen |

Stretching nice and slow, leaning in, willing ( but not really) fingertips ready for the next passerby……

I jerked back just before it skimmed the tip of my finger!!!

whew, that was close

“Mommm, you’ve got to! This can be your brave thing today.”

Man.

I was so close to a pass when he spurred me with the challenge.

It’s my fault. I started this whole “gotta do one brave thing a day thing.” Dang it.

Deep breath.

As I began to stretch my arm again, pep-talking myself, “it’s just a ….”

“HURRY MOM! HERE IT COMES! HURRY BEFORE YOU MISS IT!”

Both of their eyes fixed on me, I stretched my almost shaking arm back into the cool water just in the nick of time, “I DID IT! I touched the squishy, make my skin-crawl-EW! stingray- ugh!-gross!!”

And then, I’m almost sure that I threw up in my mouth.

“EW! they’re so slimmmy”…

“Yea, but you did it mom. You did your one brave thing today.”

“I sure did, boys. I sure did.”

Our family adopted this little charge of doing one brave thing a day a little over a year ago.

It’s been fun and funny.

I don’t remember the exact day we implemented it and there was no grand plan or theology behind it other than we want our boys to become brave young men.

And as it is with anything else,

practice makes perfect

Or at least practice makes it easier, right?

We’re not systematic about it really. The opportunities usually present themselves.

This past weekend, while at a wrestling match, the younger wanted a snack from the concession stand.

He asked me to go get it for him. I said no. He threw me a sad-ish head-tilt. I threw one back at him, smiled and said, “Go for it! Go do your brave thing today.”

It works.

I don’t know why it works other than when we started it, we meant it. (#beconsistent)

In the beginning the boys were more timid, less eager, as they began to go in to pay for gas at the local service station, ask questions for themselves verses me asking for them, retrieve stamps from the post office, etc..

They have recently began to look for ways to BE BRAVE themselves, challenging each other and have even challenged J and I to be more brave.

“Do not do for children what they can do for themselves-“

Is a line I read years ago, before we ever had our boys. It stuck.

Our BE BRAVE mantra is really nothing more than training for real life.

You and I know all-to-well that life is full-to-the-brim with hard things. Things that challenge us and take us out of our comfort zones.

So why not start now?

Accompany us, will you?

You and your people, join our tribe, in our ONE BRAVE THING A DAY journey.

Remember, there is no formula other than to look for one BRAVE thing a day.

Seek out that brave thing that stretches you or your tribe just a smidgen.

And then when you find yourself surprised by how brave you actually are-try another and then another.

Our bravery will look different.

Maybe your brave thing is to make a wrong right?

Maybe you will visit an old friend?

Maybe you’ll reach out and touch a slimy stingray!

Maybe you’ll start a new job, a new business, start a new relationship?

Maybe your brave thing is to try a tomato?

Maybe you need to share your testimony, start a blog or a podcast!?

Brave is contagious.

When you are brave you make others brave!

Start small. Dream BIG. BE BRAVE! dear ones

BE BRAVE!

oh! and then–> share YOUR BRAVE thing with us in the comment section below.

I can’t wait to hear from you!

sweet dreams y’all,

3 reasons to GIVE THE TABLE A TRY

by Karmen |

What’s all the fuss about the table?

Duck Dynasty’s gathered round it, IF: Table is growing by leaps and bounds and have you seen the delightful pictures from Neighbor’s Table on Instagram?

Table traditions run deep here in the south.

Particularly, in the community I call home.

Potluck to picnics.

Kids are taught early, come supper time, you call it a day to take your seat at the table..

I’ll never forget one of the first times I had supper at the cowboy’s house.

We’d been dating a few months. I had become fairly familiar with most of his family through church and wasn’t all that nervous about joining them for supper until I realized all eyes were on me as I sat (shaking) in my chair.

The awkward silence and blatant stares let me know something was wrong.

The cowboy’s brother (who I am certain has the gift of mercy) glanced toward the other end of the table where an extra chair had been placed.

His eyes said, that was my chair.

I had unknowingly perched myself in their daddy’s chair.

It was the same way at my house.

Everyone had assigned seats at momma’s table..

I remember as a teen, one of my sisters got a wild hair and decided to shake things up by rearranging the seating arrangement.

Epic fail.

Best I can recall, there were tears, loud talking (similar to gnashing of teeth) and in the end, everyone went back to their assigned seats.

There’s just something special about gatherin’ round the table.

Kinda magical really.

The conversations, the memories, laughter, correction, storytelling.

It’s about so much more than food.

There have been tons of studies and all kinds of fancy research with proven benefits of eating around the table.

Our small group from church actually just discussed this very topic last Wednesday night, and unanimously agreed that gathering round the table should remain a priority even when life gets crazy.

You say, but you don’t know my family.

And I would say, no, maybe we haven’t met; but may I encourage you by introducing you to mine?

LADIES & GENTLEMEN ……WELCOME……….

Seriously, when we meet at momma’s on Sunday nights with my sisters and all our tinies who are so very loud and often so very, very circus-like.

Most of the time, we eat in shifts.

Kids first. Adults last because there are so many of us.

And on any given day at my own house, there could be a dog under our table, a kid climbing over the back of the booth seat or something sticky in your seat.

I never said table time was peaches and cream or quiet or calm or pinterest-like.

Some nights there’s fussing, other nights there’s silence (and not the good kind of silence, but rather the mad-frowny-faced kind) and lots of nights (almost always) there are spills but still-

it’s worth it

Still not convinced?

Listen to what my six year old said when I asked him,

“Son, what’s your favorite thing about eating at the table?”

“I just like it. It’s our family eating meeting. Hey momma, I rhymed.“

Not that you would need any more reasons after my son’s matter-of-fact-case-and-point statement…yet should you need more reasons why…

Here are 3 reasons why you should give the table a try:

1. you can LOOK EM’ IN THE EYE!

Oh, how many, many truths are spoken without a word, right? Just a look can say so, very much. Just like that night, at the cowboy’s house when I sat in his daddy’s chair. Nobody had to tell me to get up and move. Their looks told me what to do.

How many hours or days has it been since you looked YOUR PEOPLE in the eye.

Gatherin’ round the table allows you to look at those you love most right in the face.

Table time allows us to make time for things like eye-contact.

Seriously, this is so simple, and yet too often overlooked.

2. you can TALK TO YOUR PEOPLE- IN PERSON

No phones or technology allowed.

What a great way to momentarily unplug and fly off the map for a half hour and actually have a conversation with your people!

No, it’s not rocket science and no, I’m not the inventor of the idea, but a protector of it in our home.

We talk, or converse with each other; meaning we question and respond to the one speaking.

And as an added bonus we laugh with and at each other. I

t’s fun.

You should totally try it, this talking thing.

Like trying the english peas from your plate.

Talking with your people, try it, you might like it.

3. you can GET TO KNOW THEM!

You know? the people you live with, you CAN KNOW THEM.

No lie. I get it.

We have persevered through many extremely busy seasons where it felt like we barely knew the people living in our house.

Growing up at home and here.

When I was working full time outside of the home, flying it at random hours, grabbing something to eat for the family on the way in, only to rush in, tell them to swallow without chewing because ain’t nobody got time to chew…for the love we’ve got to shower and get to bed and start all over again!

Sound familiar?

Yea, those days, we barely knew each other.

And it would have continued lest we stopped and said something had to change.

J and I decided when the boys were much younger than they are now, that we wanted for our children what we had growing up, time around the table.

We made an intentional choice and have, by the grace of God, protected it.

On mornings when he doesn’t have to open the store, we eat breakfast together. On days his shoeing schedule allows, we eat lunch and not every evening, but most evenings, we eat supper together at the table.

It’s not always homemade, but it’s always at the table or in our case, mostly -the booth.

We look each other in the eye, we talk and listen to each other.

We leave the table with more than a satisfied stomach…..a nourished, encouraged soul =stronger relationships.

And as it turns out, after we’ve talked and visited with each other, most days -we still like each other.

PLEASE NOTE: if you haven’t made gathering round the table a practice in your home but you are considering it-

KNOW THIS ….

it won’t be this

it may be more like a train wreck to begin with…..

it could very possibly get worse before it gets better

and may actually cause a great deal of this

stress-cartoon

Because kids fuss. Parents get aggravated. Things get spilt.

PERSEVERE my friends~!

HANG IN THERE! and remember..Rome wasn’t built in a day nor are family traditions made overnight…..

KEEP GOING….Each time should get a lil bit better!

To my single friends, widows and widowers, what better place to gather with friends than around the table.

Once a week to often for you? Try once a month.

You’ll be amazed at how good it feels to gather round such an intimate place, with some delicious food and fabulous friends.

Now, it’s YOUR TURN.

What does it look like, sound like, smell like around your table???

I can’t wait to hear your table stories….

love y’all

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