Karmen Smith

  • About
  • Retreat
  • Journal
  • Speaking
  • Blog
  • Shop
  • Contact
  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Twitter
  • YouTube

Subscribe to my blog posts

Privacy Policy

sweet & salty: an adoption story

by Karmen |

We’ve cried a bunch
Cussed a little and loved a lot over the last year.

Adoption.

Even as I type the word, I feel myself buffering, searching, I guess, for the words that fit or express all that it entails.

 

If you’re new here, I’m Karmen boymom times five. Two boys grew in my belly, the other three in my heart. Baby Jax was sent to us first via foster care. You can read part of his remarkable story here. David and Ayden are brothers & are the same ages as our bio boys, which means we have two 14s, two 12s, and a toddler.

I grabbed a couple of snacks last night on the way to the couch to write. I like to have snacks when I write. I love snacks even when I’m not writing, but that’s not the point (also not the point-unhealthy snacks). The point was discovered in the mixing of my snacks: a milk chocolate Hershey bar, white cheddar Cheeze-Its, and lemonade. I started with the Hershey bar because duh, chocolate, and then, after a few bars, I grabbed a handful of the salty squares and, lastly, a sip of lemonade when my mouth did a jump-up heel kick! The sweet-salty sour mixture made the most beautiful blend!

When the boys first moved in six days before Christmas, I thought this would be sweet. We will love Jesus and others, and we’ll live happily ever after because we’re following Him, and it will all work out, but then, life got salty, like really salty really fast. We went from two boys to three and then five boys in less than six months, and someone needed something or someone all the time, and then suddenly, sweet seemed so far away.

But God is faithful. (and I’m so glad He is) Even more thankful He sends us who or what we need when we need it even when it doesn’t feel like what we get is what we needed.

There have been countless days over the last year that’ve been just plain hard. There have been many moments I wondered if we were getting anything right. Sometimes I wrestled with quitting motherhood, but at the end of the day, I never could settle on how. So, J and I would go to bed and wake up the next day to find a new batch of sweet mercy and grace given to us to give to the boys, and one day became two, and then a week or month passed, and here we are. It was this day one year ago we became “Smith Party of Seven,” and I can’t help but cry.

I cry when I think about how far we’ve come—all of us. I praise the Lord for many of YOU who have come alongside us to pray, mentor, carpool, send hand-me-downs, given bikes or advice, lend an ear, texted funny family memes, babysat, or cheered for the boys all for one and one for all.

Thank you!!!!!!!!
Thank you, each and everyone, for every single kind act or effort. I promise-it mattered!

I crack up at the many and varied lessons on music, manners, hygiene, and girls and smile when I recall the in-depth discussions about God, sin, heaven, and hell.

 

I’m sure glad we didn’t say no.

The sweetness of handpicked bouquets and handwritten notes, family basketball and badminton, card games, the salty fights we’ve had, and sour attitude with enough family meetings to last a lifetime -man what a perfectly blended sweet-salty sour year it’s been!

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Pinterest
  • LinkedIn
  • More
  • Email
  • Print
  • Reddit
  • Pocket
  • Tumblr
  • Skype

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: #boymom #fostertoadopt #fostercare, adoption, family, parenting

A Thanksgiving Tradition: To be or not to be a Pilgrim or an Indian?

by Karmen |

It’s the week of Thanksgiving, and though many days feel as if the world is on its head, “in everything give thanks.”

*******************************************************

I remember as a little girl during the season of Thanksgiving taking a notebook and making a list of things I was thankful for until I ran out of things to write down.

Mostly, I have my mother to thank for teaching me to make lists and to see the glass half-full.

In years past while hosting the feast for our rather large extended family and with the hope of stirring an attitude of gratitude we’ve set up a Thankful Tree.  If that sounds fancy, it’s not.   Our Thankful Tree was an old limb from the yard stuck in a bucket of rocks with strips of paper for guests to write down what they were most thankful for and lastly, clip it to the tree.  There’s something special about writing things down.

Other years before the family baby boom where a few kids turned into 20ish we would gather in a large then, larger circle just before the blessing.  While in the circle each one who wanted would take turns sharing a word of gratitude or praise.

So, tell me.  How about you?  What’s one of your favorite Thanksgiving traditions?

I would love to hear more about your Thanksgiving or Christmas family traditions in comments.

If you’ve considered starting a new tradition but aren’t sure where to start might I suggest you check out this BEAUTIFUL, FREE e-book by Sandi Sutton.

TRADITIONS, A Holiday Collective:

Sandi contacted me several weeks ago and asked if I would mind sharing a family tradition in her collective e-book.  When I said yes I had no idea what the end product would look like, but I will tell you it is better than SPECTACULAR!

This e-book is beyond stunning, and Sandi’s passion and niche for photography are obvious!

Of course, she had me at, ‘family tradition.”

If you’re new here, it won’t take you long see my love for family and how crazy we are about tradition, particularly a Thanksgiving tradition with our extended family that may or may not have anything or everything to do with dressing like Pilgrims and Indians.

Now, for the sake of this post and not to spoil what’s inside, I won’t say anything more except:

1. I encourage you to download this FREE, BEAUTIFUL E-BOOK, and

2.  turn quickly to page 44 just in time for Thanksgiving because

3.  it’s not too late to start a new tradition!

 

Much love and thanks from me to YOU for making this space matter!

 

 

P.S.  The SHOP #PrayBig page has updates because can you BELIEVE we are approaching the two-year anniversary of #PrayBig.  We’re going to talk more about this soon but until then go check out the videos we’ve added HERE!!! (Side note –>currently we are SOLD OUT of mugs and red hats, but we do have a beautiful turquoise #PrayBig hat available LIMITED TIME only)

P.S.S.  The Speaker page has been updated 🙂 Click HERE to see if I am speaking near you!

P.S.S. S  If you have missed our recent Facebook Lives–GO NOW and FOLLOW @Karmen Smith, Blessings Beyond the Barnyard on Facebook because I love you and want to encourage you and your friends with

Real Stories

Real Life

Real Faith

 

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Pinterest
  • LinkedIn
  • More
  • Email
  • Print
  • Reddit
  • Pocket
  • Tumblr
  • Skype

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: #PrayBig, family, family traditions, free e-book, Thanksgiving

“Thus far” 2016 the BIG year-ender

by Karmen |

“Thus far the Lord has helped us.”  (1 Samuel 7:12)

 

I could not think of a better way to start a year-end post than to share these words from Streams in the Desert by L. B. Cowman.

 

“The words “thus far” are like a hand pointing in the direction of the past. It had been a long time, twenty years in all.” (v. 2), but even if it had been seventy years, “Thus far the Lord helped”! Whether through poverty, wealth, sickness, or health, whether home or abroad, on land, sea or air, and whether in honor, dishonor, difficulties, joy, trial, triumph, prayer, or temptation-“Thus Far the Lord helped”!

 

It’s that time of the year when many take a deep breath and look back.

 

Tell me friends.  How does it look from where you stand?  As you glance back over your shoulder are you overwhelmed with gratitude or are glad to call it a wrap?

 

If I may be so direct as to say, “It’s been more than a heck of a year!!!”   As I look back down the dirt road of 2016, I see love and loss, success and failure, laughter and more tears than I’ve shed in several years!

 

I grew up on a dirt road.  My sisters, cousins and I ran barefooted as country girls do.  Growing older and learning to drive we’d do our best to dodge the all-too-familiar-potholes.  There were a few “potholes” I wish we could’ve avoided this year but then I remember it’s the running barefooted on the rocks, and unexpected potholes of life that make us what we are.

 

On this last year in my thirties, less is more.  So instead of a month by month playback, I’m going to share just 3 areas of our life where we have lived, loved and been AWED by the faithfulness of God:

 

FAITH

 

I had heard, been taught and even proclaimed to many the truth of Ephesians 3:20, that God can do exceedingly and abundantly but this year- we have experienced it.  He has strengthened and stretched our faith in ways unexplainable.  God is His wonder has taken the little 6-week prayer journal, written by a woman scared of punctuation to Honduras, Canada, a women’s prison in Georgia, to the Dominican Republic, and more states than I can count.  I hope I never get over it!!

 

With it, He has birthed a message, a challenge, a movement for His people to #PrayBig.  You all have supported us and made my dream of sharing His faithfulness a reality!!  You are praying and listening to God.  Many of you have learned to plead the promises of God through prayer and have seen the activity of God in your lives.  You have seen your laundry list of requests transform into intimate conversations with Jesus!

 

You have bought “PrayBig” journals, mugs, hats, t-shirts, jewelry and you are sharing them with YOUR PEOPLE! (Pause for a –>SHOUT OUT to Gina Dorough, the salt to my pepper, a Godsend who has graciously traveled with me to all of the places and kept us organized and blessed each one of you with her kindness and selfless service!! I love u!)

We love seeing hashtag #PrayBig online and are overjoyed at how the community is growing!  I can’t get over it, and I wish I could hug each one of you and look you in the eye and say, “THANK YOU!!”

 

Thank you for allowing Him to use YOU to grow our faith.  Thank you for sharing your burdens and blessings with me through your emails, texts, calls, and conversations.  It has been and is and my great honor to share with you through prayer.  I consider it a privilege that you would invite me into the intimate places of your heart.  You are loved and lifted up, and I am eternally grateful!!!

 

Lastly, for inviting me to speak to your women’s groups, your podcasts, churches, camps, your living rooms, Mentone Inn den, prison domes, parks and more.   It has been my sheer delight to Skype, encourage, and exhort you in the Lord.  He has fearfully and wonderfully made you and has the-most-perfect plan and purpose for your life.  If I haven’t yet made it your way or you’d like to get together again, email SOON as we are working on our calendar and scheduling less this year because of area number two…

 

FAMILY

Just when I think I can’t love them more, I do.

 

J & I celebrated two decades of marital bliss in October of this year.  Yes, that’s sounds cliché’ but for two who are opposites in every way minus our faith and rearing our children blissful is pretty spot on.  We didn’t go all out and travel out west or get that getaway for a romantic weekend like I had planned because life happens but instead we enjoyed a quiet steak dinner and was able to share an uninterrupted, quality conversation.  That anniversary meal fed more than our stomachs and was more than enough for the day.

 

To know J, (aka the Cowboy), is to know simple.  Honest and upright.  Quiet is his favorite.  He’d rather be at the barn than anywhere else on the planet.  Barn chores are where he finds serenity.   Our feed store is where he makes a living. A very engaged father to our boys and now, a father to the fatherless.  He was recently humbled having been asked to become an elder at our church. It is my honor to be his wife, now forever and always.

 

Our boys.

photos compliments of the uh-MAZING Rachel Clarke Photography (now Mrs.Mashburn)

 

Are you following #adventuresoftuckandjake on Facebook? If not, why?  No really, the hashtag started as a joke.  In sharing one of the boys’ adventures one day with a woman, she said, “People don’t let their kids do that anymore!”

 

“We do” was my response as I share the video from my phone.

 

Boys need to be boys.  Boys need to climb, run, hunt, scavenge, adventure, scout, explore, fight, rescue, fix, create, imagine, scream, innovate, pretend, swim, and jump!!!!!! Did I mention ROAR!   We don’t own a gaming system on purpose.  Before we start homeschool each day on more days than not, I have the boys run a few laps around the pond just because.  Best I can tell, boys and dogs (according to the dog guy on TV) have some of the same basic needs:  exercise, discipline, affection.

 

If you are a #boymom and you struggle as we all do from time to time– try this!  Get them OUTSIDE, make them run, touch five trees, race back and forth down the driveway or sprint five laps around the house before they get in the car.  It helps. I promise.  Their teachers will hug you!!

 

Speaking of thanks, one of my most cherished friend’s, Jeanne Manning, sent our boys a Christmas card.  In the card, (which just so happens to be my favorite gift this Christmas) she shared words of love & gratitude for our two superheroes.  She encouraged and thanked them for the ways they have loved the new children God has brought into our home which leads me to…

FOSTERING

 

I had no idea that prayer whispered from a porch in Honduras would lead us here.

 

I had to take a few deep breaths and wipe a few tears before beginning this final part of this post and believe it is doubtful you will feel the weight of the words shared in this last and very best part of 2016.  It was a couple of weeks ago now that I wrote in my journal things fostering has taught and continues to teach me:

 

It’s not about us.

 

With each child that has visited our home whether for a day, a week or months God is his graciousness has reminded me this life is not about me.  How comfortable I am, what I want or what we think we need.  This life is about more-so very much more than that.  Down to my bone marrow, I’m convinced the reason any of us are here is to bring God glory.  We can do this by sharing and showing others Jesus.  Yes, once again, I realize that sounds cliche, ‘ but it’s true.

 

More than what I know, may achieve or attain- Am I making the most of every opportunity?  does my life cause others to marvel at Jesus in me?? Am I loving the unlovely?  The unclean?  Those invested with lice, the downtrodden, deserted?  Do I love them like Jesus loves?

 

Love without abandon.

 

Unconditional, relentless, immeasurable love?

 

Fostering has forced me to stay offline and be present with the people under this roof.  We look each other in the eye more.  You can tell a lot about where a person is and has been by simply looking them in the eye.

We have read books, listened, talked, laughed, and cried.  Lots and lots.

 

Fostering is HARD.

 

We have gotten attached and had high hopes of forever only to find ourselves disappointed and heartbroken.  No words, class, or training could have prepared us for the gut-wrenching pain of the first removal, but God is near to the broken hearted-He binds up their wounds.

 

Just a few weeks ago after losing one whom we cherished new littles came in need of as much or more love than the one before.  J turned to me as he closed the new little one’s bedroom door after giving big hugs and ‘sweet dreams-goodnight.’

 

“What will we do when they leave?”

 

My tear filled reply, “We’ll cry and love again.”

Which is what we are doing.  Crying & loving again.  While we are talking about crying.  If Facebook doesn’t lie (LOL! surely Facebook wouldn’t lie???) Nonetheless, hundreds or according to Facebook thousands of you watched the video where I fought the gigantic lump in my throat the day after we lost out little buddy.

 

While we are talking about crying.  If Facebook doesn’t lie (LOL! surely Facebook wouldn’t lie???) Nonetheless, hundreds or according to Facebook thousands of you watched the video where I fought the gigantic lump in my throat the day after we lost out little buddy. We were seriously overwhelmed by your compassion and comforting words.  If you missed it or struggle with what to do when you #PrayBig and the things you want to happen you can catch it –> HERE

 

We’re often asked, “How do you do it?”  “How do you bring them in, treat them like your own and then let them go?”

 

We pray more, pray always, pray hard, #PrayBig and trust God with the details.

 

Many people choose a word for the year.  I have chosen words over the last few years and have been fascinated by the ways I have seen the word play out in my life throughout the year.  My word for this past year was “watch.”

 

“Watch for the new thing I am going to do….”  Isaiah 43:19 (GNT)   I have seen Him do things I never could’ve or would’ve imagined.  I will praise Him as long as I have breath for ALL of it. The good, bad, ugly and GREAT of 2016!

Dearest friends, from our herd to yours we wish the HAPPIEST OF NEW YEAR’S.  May it be one of peace and hearts overflowing.  Do not lose heart.  Be confident:

“The Lord who “thus far” has helped you

Will help you all your journey through.” ~L.B. Cowman

 

Much love & always,

 

 

P.S. You know the post wouldn’t be complete without at least one P.S.

2017 plans/DREAMS/things to do:

  • Turn 40!
  • Finish the manuscript of our story
  • sit on the porch more in the evenings
  • adventure more WITH my boys instead of watching from afar

 

P.S.S. If you’re new or late to the #PrayBig party

Follow on Instagram @blessingsbrnyrd

Facebook: Blessings Beyond the Barnyard

Visit & share www.karmensmith.com for questions, prayers or speaking inquiries

 

 

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Pinterest
  • LinkedIn
  • More
  • Email
  • Print
  • Reddit
  • Pocket
  • Tumblr
  • Skype

Filed Under: #PrayBig Journal, boymom, faith, family, foster care, Inspire, Life ~in our neck of the woods, Uncategorized Tagged With: faith, family, fostering, happy new year, NEW YEAR

It's my birthday and I'll cry if I want to!

by Karmen |

 

We live in the Heart of Dixie when in June it’s so hot:

 

  • farmers have to give their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying hard-boiled eggs
  • cows give evaporated milk
  • Satan takes the day off
  • the four seasons become: tolerable, hot, really hot & ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!

 

This week’s heat has been topping out at the ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!

 

thermo

 

You are not on candid camera.

 

This is an actual shot of our thermostat, in our house two nights ago and NO, our AC isn’t broken.

 

The cowboy and I mutually agree and actually prefer fans and fresh air over closed doors and AC most-of-the-time (which is odd because we are polar opposites and rarely agree on trivial things) but at 8:41 PM- I was done.

 

Like, well done. Charred.

 

So when he came in just a few minutes later from mowing hay, I said, “it’s time.”

 

He graciously agreed and began closing windows while I did snow angels on the bed.

 

I woke up the next morning REFRESHED and cool and so happy because it was my birthday.

 

I heart birthdays.  I think we should all celebrate with gladness the day we took our first gasp.  Cakes, cards, and homemade ice cream make it even more glorious.  Birthdays are exciting.  Or they should be.

 

Today was exceptionally normal.

 

J left early to go shoe a couple of horses before opening the store.

 

The boys and I ran to town to the bank, get their hair cut (so they would look like someone cares about them #bless) watered plants at the store, swept, tidied up, and then home to grab a quick bite before going to the hayfield.

 

Here’s how my mind often works.

 

I recognize the reality of certain situations and yet sometimes I choose to totally pretend as if they aren’t what they are but instead what I hope they will be.

 

CASE & POINT:

 

I KNEW there were acres of hay on the ground.  I KNEW it was ready to be baled.  I KNEW J had the tractors greased and ready annnnd I also KNEW he was planning on me to rake while he baled-on my birthday.

 

BUUUT-it’s my birthday… and in my fairy-world-mind, I secretly wished we could have PAUSED our real-world responsibilities for the afternoon to go have some BIRTHDAY fuN!

 

I had no particular definition or idea of what that birthday fun might look like other that I was fairly certain it wasn’t going to be located in the nine thousand degrees-hotter-than-hades-hayfield.

 

So while I prepared lunch, J packed the cooler full of POWERADE.

 

I felt the swell.

 

The puffing in my heart.

 

The inner, “I DON’T WANT TO GO!”

 

The lump in my throat…

 

When the tears began to spill over quietly I left the kitchen, went to our bedroom, closed the door and began to weep.

 

As I sat there scolding myself for being so completely ridiculous I saw-

 

 

“Learn to laugh at yourself more freely.  Don’t take yourself or your circumstances so seriously.”

 

The words glared at me from the devotional that lay open to my right while I sat having myself a grand time at my pity party.

 

Like a toddler tugging at the hem of my skirt, the words began to tug at my soul.

 

 

As if Jesus slipped in the back door to sit in on this little conversation I was having with myself.  I read more…

 

“A merry heart does good, like medicine,

But a broken spirit dries the bones.”  Proverbs 17:22 NKJV

 

 

ok. the party’s over.  The Pity ParTy has been canceled.

 

With that, I wiped the leftover tears put on my big girl pants just before I hollered,

 

“It’s time to go boys.  Get in the truck.”

 

Isn’t it silly how we let our emotions tell us what to do?

 

AS IF being puffed up or mad the rest of the day was going to make baling hay on-this-hot-hot day any better for anybody?

 

Sometimes we have to do things we don’t want to do, even on our birthday.

hay1

 

Sometimes the things we want to do has to wait for another day because of the things we need to do.

And lots of days, we need to take our emotions by the collar and tell them to GET IN LINE!

 

Because that’s real life.

hay3

And even when it’s hot on your birthday and there aren’t ten seconds of shade, there’s hay to bale.

 

 

A funny thing happened once we got there …

 

 

The beauty of the place was almost overwhelming

 

 

The humming of the tractor hushed the day’s disappointment as I circled the field

 

 

The cheesy, romantic in me began to blush as I waved at the man I adore as we passed each other on our tractors,

 

 

Our gracious friends who were available to help cart kids around on the ATV while we worked

 

Coolers full of refreshing POWERADE

 

A brother-in-law who had been going since 3:50 am-worked a full day in a hot factory was in one field while we worked another

 

When what to my wondering eyes should appear but to glance up to see my sisters who had come to tell us sweet momma had supper ready whenever we could get there!

 

Just in time for the serenade-HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME, showered with love and homemade ice cream to boot !!

 

After the fit I pitched earlier- I am so undeserving yet ever-so-grateful for those God has given me.

 

And just when I thought the day was done

 

My little regifter gave me this

11412371_10205337210808289_8905194620623355730_n

 

And here’s what I did:

 

I asked him and his brother to forgive me for being such a jerk.  I squeezed them so tight just before we said goodnight.

 

And for God to forgive me for being such a crybaby.  I trust that He will.  Because He’s faithful like that.

 

Looking forward to a peaceful, COOL night of rest, new mercies and strength for tomorrow, as we head back to the hayfield. amen (insert emoji icon WACKY FACE!)

 

the end and sweet dreams,

the snow angel

 

PLEASE share with me a time when you were a crybaby jerk…or am I the only one?!

PS-Funnies at the beginning were borrowed from jokes4us dot com

 

 

 

 

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Pinterest
  • LinkedIn
  • More
  • Email
  • Print
  • Reddit
  • Pocket
  • Tumblr
  • Skype

Filed Under: #iheart, adventures, Everything Else, Fabulous Friends, Life ~in our neck of the woods, the cowboy Tagged With: baling hay, birthday, family, haytime, it's my party and I'll cry if I want to

Next Page »

Order Karmen's 6-Week Prayer Journal "When You Pray, Big Things Happen"

Join the Conversation

Join the Conversation

Recent Posts

  • sweet & salty: an adoption story
  • Whew! What a YEAR!
  • Court & Why I Won’t Stop Crying

Instagram

Follow on Instagram

Brave Moms, Brave Kids Blog Tour

Categories

Archives

  • About
  • Retreat
  • Journal
  • Speaking
  • Blog
  • Shop
  • Contact
    • Email
    • Facebook
    • Instagram
    • Twitter
    • YouTube

© 2023 Karmen Smith | Design by The Design Diva | Development by MRM | Privacy
Photos Courtesy of Rachel Clarke Photography

loading Cancel
Post was not sent - check your email addresses!
Email check failed, please try again
Sorry, your blog cannot share posts by email.